“‘Tis the Damn Season…” says Taylor Swift. If there were ever a song line to relate to that would be the one for Holiday Season 2020. That’s exactly what I thought when Christmas started getting closer. It would be the first in four years that I wouldn’t have my kiddo with me. My heart hurt. However, I have a responsibility to myself and those around me to not sit in pain but instead find joy. Joy in all moments. I figured out this year that joy can come in so many forms if you are willing to seek it out. So I went searching for it instead of sitting home on my couch moping. (I’ve done my fair share of moping for one lifetime and don’t want to go back to being that way.) I wrote about what happens when you let go in your life earlier this week and I’m letting go of all of the fear, sadness and past pain so I have tons of room for peace and joy. If you are also at this crossroad where you are just tired of being sick and tired… then read on.

You see you can’t have room for joy if you are holding onto things out of your control or things that have already happened. The past is the past. Take an inventory of it, examine how you got to where you are and then rewrite your story. How did your past help you? Where do you want to go? When you look at your future self - what do you see? How can you move toward that today? Take time to answer these life provoking questions. Literally, grab a pen and write them down. Take control of what you can control which is how you spend your present moments. No moment is more special than another if you look for the magic in each day.

Get your body moving. Another thing I’ve found that really helps my mental state and mood is to physically get up and move around. Change your location - find a new place to be. Thrive in a new environment. For me that environment was the beach. I looked up the best beach sunsets in the Florida panhandle and found Orange Beach (technically on the border of Alabama and Florida). I drove out and sat there during golden hour surrounded by the warm glow of the sun setting over the ocean. The sand was so soft like powdered sugar or snow. The waves were gentle and the breeze kissed my face. This was joy. There were no other thoughts. No one else existed in that moment. Just me on the beach with my camera and a sunset.

It’s in the quiet along moments I connect with God. It’s in the downtime I see my faith grow. When the noise of the rest of the world is blocked out I find myself. Some of my biggest revelations in life came from my alone moments. Spending time without distraction of others. Being in the moment and feeling the things you just can’t feel when someone is chattering away. Don’t get me wrong - I love spending time with loved ones, but it’s in the alone moments I feel a spiritual joy that deepens my faith. It’s in these moments I talk to God. It’s also in these moments I receive direction and discernment.

I’ve learned during my three and a half decades on this earth that without knowing your purpose, you’ll always feel lost. Without understanding your why - you’ll always feel like something is missing. Maybe the alone time for you right now is exactly what you need to go to the next phase of your life. If you feel like something is missing it’s time to go within and figure it out. You won’t be able to give in a relationship without first understanding why you feel how you feel. So take the time to be whatever. If you don’t feel joy now, it’s okay. Do one little thing that brings you a moment of joy. Then, do another. And another. Before you know it you’ll collect enough joy moments that they will override the empty ones.

To change anything in your life you have to recognize where you are and then where you want to be. Then, you execute a single action to be more like the thing you are trying to be. Then you execute another. And another. And another. You’ll get there. All of the big things in life are just tons and tons of little actions added up. So what are you going to do during your alone time? Where do you want to be in a year? Five years? Ten years? Close your eyes and imagine… if you can think it - it can become a reality.

Finding Joy Alone