Things Changed When I Changed
Nothing in my life has been a product of chance. God gives us free will to walk the Earth and if we make a decision it has consequences one way or another. On March 22, 2019, I kissed alcohol goodbye forever. I was at a place in my life where I was lost, miserable, and completely heartbroken. It was at least a year of turmoil or more and I was in deep depression. Some of my friends will tell you I was a wreck. Others will tell you that they just couldn’t figure out what was going on. All I knew is that no matter what, the alcohol had to go. At that exact same time, I was in a relationship with someone who regularly drank and partied. I knew that I was on a path to sobriety but I had no idea the things I would be giving up when I made that rock bottom choice. Including that relationship and many more as the years would pass by.
Over the course of the first year, my sobriety would be put to the test. I transplanted to California and spent time going to meetings when everyone else, including my boyfriend at the time was going out or drinking at the house. One day I was listening to a friend talk about influences on a Facebook live (thank you Jordan) and she said, “You are the average of the top 5 people you spend the most time with.” I was like….oh. This is why my dreams are not happening. This is why every time I move myself toward improvement, I was held back and in the same cycle. It wasn’t enough at that moment to just get myself sober… to live a sober lifestyle I needed to surround myself with positive influences who also value clarity and sobriety.
For the next two years I would occasionally see friends or attend social gatherings I was invited to. Each time asking myself before I went if I had a reason to be at the event and was an exit strategy in place for when I would leave. Usually, I attended for about an hour to an hour and a half and then decided to go home. If I’m being honest I spent years spending a lot of time by myself and I found joy. I really found joy. I found a way to be happy with who I was. I found a way to sit sober and actually have an entire meal alone in peace. Happy, not insecure or distracted. I found myself exploring and traveling. Most of all I found myself. This fiery trailblazer with a heart is ready to help heal the world. The more time that went by the more I became this person. The person you see who leads people to Christ, to be their best version, to find their hopes and dreams. I thank God every single day for that rock bottom moment.
