10 Things I Learned This Year
This past year has amounted to an extreme amount of growth. Almost a year ago, I made the decision to go back to one one-on-one counseling to sort out some stuff that was surfacing emotionally in my life. It was so hard, but I finally feel like I’m on the upswing and things are more manageable. It’s easy to make excuses in our lives for behaviors we did when we were not at our best. It’s also really easy to blame others for the things that went wrong. Ultimately, accepting full responsibility for my life has given me freedom and inner power I did not know a few years ago. I’m going to share with you today 10 Things I Learned this Year in hopes of inspiring you to rise above your current state of being into a higher version of yourself.
Accept full responsibility for everything that you are experiencing currently.
This one isn’t easy. I went through a lot in my lifetime from being a military brat constantly changing schools and locations, getting bullied in middle school, snubbed by my peers moving into High School, and enduring a dark place of domestic violence. Things happened. People can be cruel. My responsibility in the process was to overcome these challenges and put my faith in God to rise above. I made several terrible decisions in the process. I did drugs and drank lots of alcohol, slept around, felt anger in my soul, and eventually turned my life over to God where I repented and changed my ways. Accepting full responsibility came with the price tag of digging through my past and making a vow that I would never let it get to that state again.
People will be who they are and although you can influence you can’t change them.
This advice was given to me years ago but didn’t sink in until this past year. People show their true colors when they are in really high and low places. Sometimes a person will act one way when they are sick or down and then a completely different way as they rise to success. The truth is, you can’t change a person’s heart. What they spend time looking at online speaks to their character. What they choose to spend money on, says what they value. What they do and say matters in their daily choices. No one is perfect, but what a person feeds their mind and spends their money on tells you exactly who they are.
If you want healing, go back to childhood and deal with it.
Another tough one. I had a conversation with someone close to me recently and they shared that they started inner child work with their therapist only to decide it was “too much” and they would just focus on dealing with depression. Healing your inner child is no joke! It takes an unraveling of things that were sometimes done to you whether you deserved it or not. I dealt with a really hard upbringing with strict parents (who loved me) but didn’t always know how to deal with me. They tried their best, however, we clashed often and I ended up with a spirit that needed to break free. I didn’t fit my family’s mold and that’s okay. I am not flawed. I’m human and God made me with a specific set of strengths. As I worked through this year I discovered that many of the things I felt insecure about were strengths of mine. Therapy helps. It will change the course of your life and dealing with that inner child will break you free from patterns that are present in your adulthood.
Relationships of all kinds are hard work.
Easy things are not valuable. This is true in virtue and in relationships. Relationships take an immense amount of work to fall in alignment with other humans. They require care, attention, selflessness, compassion and honesty. They are not developed overnight and if you don’t water them regularly they begin to die. The fruit of a strong relationship with another human is the joy of getting through peaks and valleys. When you involve God in the relationships you have, you will experience a completely different joy than you’ve ever known. It transcends any comradery from a night of drinks together. It touches the soul and bonds you! Not easy, but worth the work!
Inner strength develops from tough situations.
The Bible talks about this a lot in James 2, but strength and endurance come from trials and tribulations. Life doesn’t stop throwing challenges. They keep coming the higher and higher you rise! Do you want to ascend? You have to transcend through your struggles. Inner strength comes from the power of God. When you recognize your connection to God, you can open your heart and let him do the work. Work that is beyond your human ability to comprehend.
Everything you do counts.
There are no coincidences. Everything that you are experiencing right now is a manifestation of your inner being. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner state. The things you watch on TV feed your energy. The food you eat makes fuel for your body. The people you spend time talking to, it all matters.
True joy comes from alignment.
When you are in alignment with your soul, mind, heart, body, and relationships joy emerges. It’s not a superficial joy, it’s a joyful state. You will begin to radiate a glow. You will find peace that doesn’t allow as many little things to disrupt it. You will find that even if other people make poor decisions, your ability to ride the waves grows stronger. The more you act in alignment with your core values, the more confidence and inner joy you will feel as you move throughout your life.
Tough seasons cannot be avoided.
Life challenges continue even if you get to a successful place. The more you rise, the more challenges that will come your way. Being able to lean on your God during the valleys of life makes the climb to the top of the peak worth it. There will be times when you are on top of the world and can see the big picture. There will be other times when you will have to put your blinders on and wade through murky waters with God. Both periods are key to a fulfilling life. You cannot have up without down or down without eventually going up. Be grateful and keep going.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’ve always sought to understand God on a deeper level. I’ve scoured the bible, books, and many studies to get to the root of why we are all here on this planet. What I have found is that God works in non-linear ways. Seemingly unrelated events will transpire and then piece together to form an outcome. The more conscious you are, the more you’ll start seeing that things happen for a reason. You’ll uncover the reasons sooner and gain deeper wisdom. When things don’t go exactly as planned, instead of focusing on the why… start asking God - now what? What do you want me to do? Remain open-minded.
Compassion brings peace.
The more compassionate I became for how others operated in times of distress, the more inner peace I began to experience. People say and do a lot when they are in low places. Being able to recognize that I struggled in my times of lowness and still sought to make my life better gave me compassion for others when they were operating in a valley. Compassion doesn’t mean you have to just get over something hurtful instantly. Compassion helped my own heart heal from things in my past and things that others did in theirs. The more I worked through and felt the feelings, the more compassion resulted and inner peace flourished.
I cannot wait to see what this year brings! Next month marks five years of sobriety from alcohol for me and I am so excited about the clarity that the future will bring. If you are looking for more inspiration about how to create a better life, subscribe to my newsletter. We have a special course releasing soon and cannot wait to share more!
