As a work from home momma who also does distance learning with her kiddo, I have to tell you getting an afternoon to refill my cup is always appreciated! I love taking time to have a slower day on the weekends when my daughter visits other family. Lounging outdoors on a blanket with a picnic is seriously the best reward for a long week of hard work. Texas is just incredible during the Spring with perfect temperatures and wildflowers blooming all over the place. I couldn’t help but take advantage of the day by going to the park and reading a little Emerson for the afternoon.

This week marks another milestone in my life. Two years ago I gave up alcohol. After a series of panic attacks, feeling a lack of purpose, and ultimately needing peace in my life I made the decision to give up alcohol completely. Today I’m sharing the why, what I had to do to fulfill this decision and how it improved every other area of my life. It was also the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Harder than birth, harder that failure, harder than any job I’ve taken. Yet day by day I made it. Two years is 730 days, 1 million minutes and over 67 million seconds. Essentially I made the same decision over an over each day that went by to get to where I am today. Life still throws me curve balls, but it’s manageable now. Before it was not manageable. It was not enjoyable or peaceful - I was miserable. I want to preface sharing my story that I am not suggesting whether someone should drink or shouldn’t - that is a decision that has to be made on your own. I am suggesting though if you are struggling to find joy and purpose to take a long hard look at what you are doing daily and decide if you want to keep doing it.

As I approach the one year mark of being single I realize how important this past year has been in regards to my personal growth. I am pretty sure this was the most significant jump in my entire life. After a huge breakup this time last year I decided before I spent any amount of time seeking a new relationship or even dating much for that matter, I would take time to unpeel the layers of my life and figure out why and how I got to where I was. My last relationship was pretty rough especially towards the end. We were going in significantly different directions and shared minimal life values. It was hard to break up but I knew at the time there was no other choice if I wanted to grow in my own life. I shared in a previous blog post - how to handle a major break up and more about my outlook in the post title how to be single over the holidays. Fast forward to this month where it officially ended a year ago. Here are my own reflections about how life improved, what changed in my perspective and some tips for growth in your own life.

If you are currently feeling constant pressure, it’s time to put a boundary in your life for you. You have to refill your cup before you can fill others. You have to slow down, get rest, read books for fun, put your thoughts on paper, practice good skincare and treat yourself to a day for you. You may be sitting here reading this and think, I wouldn’t even know what to do with myself if I had a day. Start small, carve out time for you to take a bath each night after kids go to bed. Get up a little bit earlier so you can read a book that puts you in a good mental place. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy… so give yourself a little play time. You’ll be able to take care of your responsibilities with a renewed sense of energy and focus. You’ll be able to love on your family better and you’ll be able to recognize when something isn’t a healthy choice in your life. Go ahead and treat yo’self!

I recently shared this topic on a Facebook live for International Women’s Day and thought about how impactful the advice I would give to my younger self may have on others! Although there are many things I wish I knew at an earlier age but looking back the biggest thing I would have changed was learning to trust my gut. To just block out all of the white noise around me and listen to my inner voice. I also wish I had implemented a skincare regimen much earlier and taken better care of things like my teeth. But as we all live and learn, the list of self advice continues to grow. Here are five things I wish I could tell my 20-year-old self:

I’ve been sharing so much lately about strength on my social media. The thing I’ve found about strength is that is just doesn’t feel like you are strong when you are building it. In fact, what it actually feels like is that you’re not strong enough. With one foot in front of the other you can make it through. Building strength comes from the toughest things you endure. For each person that looks different because we are made of different life circumstances. We come from different degrees of tough and every person has a different version of struggle. As I continue to move through life I realize that pain is pain no matter what degree and no one moves through their lifetime without enduring something or the other they may almost break them.

A few years ago I had life changes take place that sent me into somewhat of a downward spiral. Started with a breakup, then a hurricane displaced me and then I got pneumonia. The three events combined that year were a catalyst for depression. Everyone functions differently. Depression can look different for different personalities. My personality is a high achievement. I operate at a fast pace with lots of energy. I prefer environments with order and structure and thrive when faced with challenges. For me, depression wasn’t siting on a couch barely able to get going everyday. In fact, it looked much different than that. Today’s post is to share insight on how sadness affects the brain, signs someone is struggling with depression and how to help.

Since I was a little girl books provided me an escape. We moved a lot growing up because my dad was in the military and spent tons of time in transit. I remember being six years old and when we arrived in Germany we had three tv channels that spoke English. Similarly when I was in High School we moved to Asia and there was limited tv. My sister and I grew up playing countless hours of board games and dolls together but when we were exhausted from that I would sneak of to my room and pull out a good book. Hard back binding and crisp pages with printed lettering took me away from the concrete walls of military housing and provided an outlet for my imagination. To this day, whenever I feel lost or down I pull out my favorite books and am instantly transported out of my current environment.

After having several conversations this past week with various friends I realized there is a common theme in our speech these days - when Covid is over, when the weather gets better, when it’s back to normal… I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said this myself. The truth of the matter is that we don’t know when or if the world is going to go back to normal. In fact, we may need to accept the fact that it may never go back to normal. The world may forever be impacted by these changes and we have to be willing to pivot to the new life. Mental health issues are on the rise and I believe the longer we allow this impact to affect us, the harder its going to get. I believe we can live our best life now, not tomorrow, not next week, not next year - the power is in NOW.

A few years ago I decided to stop letting fear get in the way of living. It takes a moment to moment approach but when you are doing something that requires bravery you don’t feel brave. You feel nervous, your heart races, and your chest may tighten. But as you move through each moment it begins to be bearable. Maybe your fear is public speaking. Maybe your fear is putting yourself out there on social media. Maybe your fear is standing up to someone in your family or at your job. Whatever the fear is, you can get through it. It won’t be easy, but the easy things don’t bring fulfillment. It’s through the hard lessons our character develops and our faith is strengthened.

I’ve shared so much lately about bringing joy into my own life. One of the things that was the toughest to go through when I was experience panic attacks a few years back was being happy. In fact, I felt the opposite of happy most of the time during that era of my life. Each day I try to do at least one activity that raises my joy level. Sometimes it’s painting with acrylics while watching The Crown. Other times you’ll find my daughter and I dancing around the house after she gets a high grade on her school work. Being happy is a choice and I can’t think of a better way to move towards joy than incorporating a little play time.

We are already two weeks into 2021 and I don’t know about you, but I’ve found time outdoors is time well spent. Last weekend College Station and a large portion of Central and South East Texas experienced a snow storm. It was odd, but welcomed following a bleak week of political events earlier that week. Social media was soon flooded with pictures of snowmen, snow angels, families getting outdoors and kids having snowball fights. It was one of the most refreshing experiences and I have to tell you it was much needed for all of us.

With only one more day until the end of the year I thought it would be nice to do a quick recap of 2020. This year was full of challenges, setbacks and growth. We saw our entire world shut down, our country go into a state of division, and home life entirely shift. With all of those events I challenge you to reflect upon both the positive and the negative. All circumstances have pros and cons. As I began reflecting through this year I noticed there was an increase in my own life in my focus on self-care, personal development, and mindset. Many of the blog posts I shared with you guys over this past year showed progression of my personal transformation. I hope they serve as inspiration for you to gain perspective on your own life purpose and mission.

“‘Tis the Damn Season…” says Taylor Swift. If there were ever a song line to relate to that would be the one for Holiday Season 2020. That’s exactly what I thought when Christmas started getting closer. It would be the first in four years that I wouldn’t have my kiddo with me. My heart hurt. However, I have a responsibility to myself and those around me to not sit in pain but instead find joy. Joy in all moments. I figured out this year that joy can come in so many forms if you are willing to seek it out. So I went searching for it instead of sitting home on my couch moping. (I’ve done my fair share of moping for one lifetime and don’t want to go back to being that way.) I wrote about what happens when you let go in your life earlier this week and I’m letting go of all of the fear, sadness and past pain so I have tons of room for peace and joy. If you are also at this crossroad where you are just tired of being sick and tired… then read on.